Today I spent the whole day in my room. The last stuff from my old apartment has been moved out and all my things are finally gathered together on one location! After reorganising my 14 squaremeters to fit with the stuff that used to fill up 65 squaremeters I started painting. I´ve been wanting to get started on it again, but I never seem to find that calm moment where I have the time AND the inspiration to paint something that doesn´t just waste a lot of good paper or canvas. I was quite pleased with what I achieved and got an inner peace and quiet that I´ve lacked the last couple of weeks.
Of course, it might also have something to do with my three-days-in-a-row-partying.. I never do that, I can usually barely stand the next day after one night of partying, so I don´t know what got into me. It probably did some good so I´m not gonna spend energie on dwelling on it.
I´ve also sent some nice e-mails to people I haven´t spoken to in a long time AND I did some school stuff. I feel like I haven´t done anything though. My to-do list before leaving for Helsinki this Easter is so long I think I would have had to postpone the whole holiday to make it through. I couldn´t be bothered with being to stressed right now. Did I just say that? It will just last the day I think and then tomorrow I won´t even remember having said that due to my stressful life. haha.. as if not everyone else are panicking as much as me because of stress? Why do we tend to think that we need to uphold an everyday speed at 200km/h? Is it because everyone else does it? And barely makes an effort, it seems like? Or because we feel we
have to - that everything feels like a chore? Not to disappoint people? Anyone have any more suggestions?
I guess I often think that I let people around me down if I skip to do something. Somehow that they expect things from me. I know that it is only my own expectations and that they are really really high, but it is a nasty habit that is hard to let go of..
Anyhow, the painting seems soothing to thoughts like these. I better paint more often.